King

Isaiah 44: 6 "This is what the LORD says— Israel's King and Redeemer, the LORD Almighty: I am the first and I am the last; apart from me there is no God.

Today I want to follow up to my post yesterday. Yesterday I told you about a recent conversation with my husband. Conversations about faith are rare in our marriage in order to keep the peace *grin*. In this instance my husband’s heart opened to listen. On this particular evening he listened and asked questions which I didn’t realized he wrestles with.

Scroll down to read and then come back because I would like your perspective.

Several days after this conversation, I was dissecting it all. You know what I mean. Those of us who live unequally yoked anguish over these talks. We anguish and struggle, looking for any hint of movement in their position about faith. We ponder over the words again and again in our minds. For weeks! We are desperate to find understanding or some small glimpse into where his thoughts and beliefs might lye.

Out of the words I discovered something I didn’t realize. This applies to just my husband but it makes me wonder if other men are also perplexed in this.

My husband hears all the time about God’s love. We attend a very seeker friendly church and I know messages from the pulpit always focus on love and forgiveness. I know for me, as a woman, I eat this up. Looking at God’s qualities of love, faithfulness, forgiveness, etc. feeds that need in me.

However, there is the regal side of God. He is a King. Kings demand justice. Kings are rulers. They wield power. They make decisions which affect the masses. They are responsible and accountable for many lives and the kingdom’s property.

With this said, do you think that men need to hear more about God’s leadership, His power, His promise of justice. Are we over preaching the soft side of our Lord? Do men want a roll model that is a warrior?

When I answered my husband’s hard question last week, I told him God is a King. That single sentence resonated with him. I saw for the first time that men, or at least mine, want to view God as the rightful King that he is.

Your thoughts?

Be blessed, Lynn

Comments

[Natalie]

I do think that men need that strong roll model. As women we want the soft, loving attachment, men aren't like us. As a little boy looks up to his father, he sees him (or should see him) as a strong man, who takes control when control is needed, who punishes when punishment is needed and who plays when play is needed. The best kings in history were those who ruled justly and knew what the people needed. Maybe it's really the men that need the "knight in shining armor" and not just us ladies. Although I like that strong "warrior" roll model as well.

[Rosheeda]

I acutally think you're right. I think that because men associate respect with power, it speaks to their nature to know that God is all-powerful and that they identify with being in a position to rule & to control, provide, orchestrate. That whole protector thing too - it speaks to their DNA; I know it does for mine. He is so much more willing to be open when he can understand from an instinctive point, than he is when he is trying to filter thru my thought processes and reasoning.

I think u're on to something, Missy.

[Sheryl]

Absolutely!! Men want someone they can relate to. Someone they admire and respect. Not that a loving God isn't respectable but it's not how guys relate. I also believe that our churches sometimes do "seekers" a disservice by being too soft. We all need to hear about the whole of God, not just the part that makes us feel good. So glad you're having these conversations with your husband AND sharing them with us. We all have so much to learn from one another.

[Kelsey]

Great post you are absolutely right!

[Dineen Miller]

Wow...again! LOL! This is powerful, Lynn. I'm going to remember this next time my hubby asks me a question. Maybe we are "softening" God and his authority too much. Our society doesn't like to be told what to do so maybe that's why that's happened. I don't believe portraying an overbearing God would be good, but I do agree, we need more balance. Great post!

[Dineen Miller]

Wow...again! LOL! This is powerful, Lynn. I'm going to remember this next time my hubby asks me a question. Maybe we are "softening" God and his authority too much. Our society doesn't like to be told what to do so maybe that's why that's happened. I don't believe portraying an overbearing God would be good, but I do agree, we need more balance. Great post!

[Melanie]

Oh, Lynn.. I'm so glad you had this opportunity and conversation with your husband!

I think you may be on to something here with your thoughts on what men may want to hear about God. I hadn't thought about it until I read your post, but it strikes a chord with me. It makes alot of sense.

[jasmine]

I've been reading this blog for a few months, but have never commented. The stories shared here have offered me so much hope - my husband isn't a believer. When I read this post I just had to share something with you. I absolutely agree that men need to know about the Warrior/King side of God. I've recently read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge which talks about this very topic and it gave me a whole new understanding about how men think and feel. It's unfortunate that a lot of churches have molded men into "nice guys" which is not necessarily what God created them to be. He created them with adventure in their hearts and the desire to fight for and protect their loved ones. I could go on ;) but I'm sure you get my point.

[Tamara]

thank you lynn - strong thoughts - I never thought about that - this must be true - Men do need a leadership role model but again I believe women too - we should hear and testifie more that Jesus is THE KING. On the other hand He cant be made so big that we are afraid of His Being. It isnt easy. I am going to ask my husband how he sees it and post on peter3. Tamara

[Tami Boesiger]

Hmmm. . .very interesting, Lynn. I don't have any wise words, but you've got me thinking. You could be onto something here.

[DeeDee]

I too have never commented on this site, but I was so encouraged to hear that someone else is figuring out what the church has done to men. Wild at Heart was a revolution to my husband and he is starting to think about God and his role in our marriage. As a warrior and "king" he feels energized. He just doesn't know how to lead, or how to open his heart, or how to deal with correction. He does not understand the character of God so he does not relate to him. His own father was a bitter and empty man and he does not understand the power of God to work in our life and build us up. Oh how I long for him to know the joy and power of knowing God as Savior and Lord and to be able to share the burden he carries with God.
I am not sure how I found this site but it is a great encouragement to me to just rest in the Lord and allow his grace to carry me through the hard times. My husband thinks he is a Christian man which for me seems harder than if he didn't have this belief. He doesn't have the power of God in his life and so to live the way he hears about in church just irriates him and pushes him away even more.

[Peggy@Mazes, Messes, Miracles....aMazing Grace]

Excellence...Lynn...once more. I touch very briefly on this on My Father's Day post but actually what you are saying is much more valid. I loved your response and praising God that you and your husband were actually discussing this. We know God's character is
comprehensive, from soft to strong:ruler. That is why the gospels are written by 4 different perspectives. Though I am far far an expert on this topic, I do know that God desires men as spiritual leaders. Society keeps asking men to take the strong, leadership role. But, you're right, what role does God want from them? What role does the church emphasize? That is why He, the Lord does appeal to our loving, compassionate...soft side. You may be on to something that brings you right back to the California legislation. We are asking men to connect with that side of them, instead of an equal balance, we have men going to one extreme or the other:effeminate(?) to
abusively strong. God wants all of our lives to be in balance! I have not read the book that more than one comment has spoken of...but those comments are good ones! If you notice, fathers or males, that can't quite relate to a good earthly father have an extremely difficult time understanding God...so you see the Model that they need may well be the "Kingly" one. Perhaps the may want a Warrior image, but I personally prefer a Leader image, a Strong Leader, or
Victorious and Just Ruler...that appeal of
"warring" kinda worries me. Because you seem to be the best observor of your own husband(or each of us)than we must lock into that part of our multifaceted God that may appeal to them. It looks like you chose correctly! That is why God is so AWESOME for He represents whatever we need for the moment...that is why His Holy Spirit gifts us differently so we work together and function in harmony(or attempt to) with the Body...each needs the other. It only makes sense that men need/want a role model that they can relate to(again go back to their relationships here on earth and their impact in forming who they are or who we are). My pastor, back home, is a gifted mn of great compassion(that appeals to me or women)...however, I have also seen his strength and strong character. I prefer someone like that to the hard, hell-fire and brimstone approach of many evangelists
and preachers. To me that is a turn off but to others that may be just what they need to wake them up...to the atocities of sin and final judgement. The role of a KING, as wisdom came from your lips...was a just but loving King. I do understand! These are earth shattering thoughts because our King is coming back! We do need to prepare the way and show honor,respect and a humble fear of the Lord to His Majestic Power. Don't you think that you need some male perspective on this? We, as women,know what we see and love or want for our husbands & their relationship to Christ and as equal partners in our "camps", as role models... but are we expecting too much? However, the best point is the one about how the Church is portraying GOD/Christ to the unsaved! But better yet..that you and your husband have begun to openly discuss with understanding who GOD is? What His Word says of His Almighty Character?
BTW: you mentioned that "WE" attend a very seeker friendly church...hhmmmmmmmmmmm intersting concept..but WE means he and you?
That is awesome!!! This was a GREAT,though provoking post, Lynn! Bravo!!!(lol)I guess if I had read the aforementioned book or understand how men think, I may have succeeded in bringing mine closer instead of isolating him as he chose and allowing him to see the Truth of God's Word instead of believing 'all roads lead to GOD'. A hardened heart and a mind set is a very complicated person to reach for God!

[Edna Fordham]

It's interesting you should mention this. There is a spirit in the world today to effeminate Man and God (the gospel). I think because the church consist primarily of women, ministers tend to gravitate toward preaching a softer gospel although if you read the bible, it gives a balance perspective of God's attributes. There's definitely the nurturing side of God. But there is also a side of God which reflects his dominion and rulership. The command God gave the first man Adam in the garden was to occupy and take dominion. Adam in effect was king of the garden. What the gospel has done is restored to mankind through Christ the ability to have dominion over sin and life circumstances. Also another point, The four gospels depict Christ as prophet, priest, teacher and king. These are all strong leadership roles which demonstrate dominion which would appeal to any man. The gospel is built around the principle of the Kingdom of God. In my opinion, the gospel is very masculine and talks extensively about conquests and victories which is very macho (smile). I think ministers need to preach a balance gospel to meet the needs of its congregation. If this is done under the anointing of the Holy Spirit our men will be reached. I think what all men long for deep inside is to see the reality of the power and glory of God. Not just talk and manipulation. When men see the Power of God, they will believe.

[Rosheeda]

Lynn, so as I'm reading the comments I'm thinking: perhaps we should spend some time in concentrated prayer asking specifically that the Lord reveal himself to our men in a way that speaks to their nature - the way He purposely created them. I've prayed hard prayers and I've prayed that my Baby would know the love of Christ, but I have never prayed that the Lord would speak to his heart in a way that makes God real to HIM intuitively.

So, for all of us:
Lord, allow our men to see you as the King that You are. Allow them to know You as Warrior, Justice, and Ruler. Show yourself to your creation in the fullness of Your nature.

In Jesus' name.
Amen.