The Meaning of Love

After looking at John, I’m finding my interest sparked now by Peter. We know Peter denied Christ three times, then in John 21, Jesus asks if Peter loves him three times. I love the symbolism here, and again, God brings more than one purpose to light.

Just as Peter denied Christ three time, Jesus gives Peter the chance to “choose” him three times thereby reaffirming Peter’s place in relationship to God’s kingdom and also to Christ himself.

If we dig a little deeper though into the Greek meaning behind the words, two different words are used for love.

The first time Christ asks Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” he uses agape, which portrays love as volitional (a choice) and self-sacrificing. Peter answers him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” But he uses phileo which means a brotherly type of love with common interests.

The second time Christ asks Peter this question, he again uses the agape form (“Do you truly love me?”). And again, Peter answers the same, using the phileo form of love.

Finally, a third time, Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” Only this time he too uses the phileo form of love and in a sense he’s asking Peter, “Are you really my friend?” Peter didn’t quite seem to catch on to what was going on, and though hurt, he affirms his love for Christ in the same form he had the previous two times, phileo.

I almost wonder if Peter was afraid to confess such devotion. Had he really had time to process that the man he’d once professed was the Messiah, then denied, then watched crucified had really come back to life? He and the other disciples had gone from the mountain top experience of being in the presence of the Son of God on a daily basis, to seeing what they perceived as all their hopes broken just as Christ’s body had been. Perhaps Peter struggled with his belief, or more importantly was afraid to hope.

Phileo love is a relatively easy place to be. We can love someone who likes the same things we do, thinks the same way we do, and especially shares the same beliefs we do. But in the unequally yoked marriage, this form of love doesn’t work for long. (And I believe this is true for marriage in general.) We aren’t in such a mutual relationship. Our spouse doesn’t share our same beliefs and thus the grounds for the phileo form of love can quickly turn into bitter resentment.

So what’s the key? Why does Christ call us to an agape form of love? A love based upon a decision, not a feeling? A love that is self-sacrificing and not self-serving?

The main difference between the two is where you are in the equation. What’s you’re motivation? Philoe implies affiliation for mutual benefit. Agape is a commitment without expectation of anything in return. You’re either smack dab in the middle of it, looking to satisfy your own needs through mutual affiliation, or your not even looking to yourself but have turned your eyes upward and decided to love that person no matter the cost.

Just like Christ did for us…

By the time Peter wrote the letters of 1Peter 1-3, his love for Jesus had become agape. He was a man totally sold out for Christ. Perhaps walking with his Savior and being empowered by the Holy Spirit enabled him to overcome whatever reservations remained in his human heart.

My guess is Peter made the choice to love as Christ asked him too, and then trusted Jesus to supply the ability to do so. And perhaps what Jesus was really asking Peter that fateful day, was not do you love me, but do you choose to love me?

He asks us this too. And I say, “I do.”

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Comments

[Lynn]

I DO! YOu know Dineen, this is a thought provoking post. I often think about Peter and his denial and believe I would have and have denied Christ just like Him.

But, praise be to God. He gives us a lifetime to get over ourselves and come to really understand Agape love.

Have a wonderful day. Thank you!

[Rosheeda]

Good grief Dineen. I was at this place last week. And I say I DO. It is pretty tough to choose to love. So glad God has the patience to let us figure it out.

[Amy]

yes I understand - amen!

[Peggy]

Yes, I choose to Love Christ...the problem is can I love those without Christ? I DO and I try, but I'm not to sure I'd receive 100% from my Master in how I love others. And I show how I love Him by loving the "unloveables" and by
loving those who are yet to receive Christ because they deny who He is? I read this early then reflected on it and chose to post about it on my blog with another angle. Thanks Dineen for pointing my love in the right direction! And thank you God, that like Peter, we get more than one chance to get the "I DO" right! Bless you and hoper you are feeling & doing better!Love those prayers! Have a blessed day! Peggy

[Dineen Miller]

It is tough, Rosheeda. I think that's why we have to stay at the feet of our Savior daily. We can't love like that on our own.

And you're right, Peggy, loving the unloveables is hardest of all, but Christ can help us do that too. I ask God to help me see others through his eyes. He's the one who can put that kind of love in our hearts. :-)

[Angela]

Being a Christian for a long time I never knew that my relationship with Christ was the most important part. I did all of the "right" things but felt empty. I prayed and sought to fill that emptiness. God was mindful of my desire and placed a very special woman in my life that became my spiritual mentor. I grew in the Lord and realized I did not know how to love Christ. Through my journey I fell head over heels in love with the Lord and he is and always will be the greatest love affair of my life. So I say YES I DO LOVE THE LORD with all of my heart. To you, I say thank you for your insight on John and Peter. The Lord has been working on me through this ministry and I thank you for being obedient. Love and Prayers, Angela