Our Spouse is Not a Throw Away.

How do we survive a setback?

I have written many articles about my marriage. I have shared with you how God continues to lead me to joy, contentment and love in the relationship with my nonbelieving husband. But, from time-to-time I experience a setback.

Last Wednesday was one of those days.

I don’t want to bog us down with the details because I know each of you have experienced a moment of pain when your spouse tells you unequivocally he does not believe in Jesus. The Bible is a fallible document, etcetera. You can fill in the blank with your own story.__________

What do we do when we feel like the wind is knocked out of us?

I can only share how the Lord helps me through the pain and disappointment. For me, the disappointment hurts every time. Now, I can just hear you saying something like this, “Well, why do you get your hopes up that your husband has experienced a heart change? After almost 16 years of marriage, you should know better.”

Somtimes I ask myself this question. Then I realize I will always cling to hope. More than that, I cling to promises. I honestly believe my husband will find his way to the cross before he dies. Where I get myself into trouble is my desire for God to save my husband according to my one-year plan, and then be done with it. Can anyone relate?

I serve a God of hope. I will always hope.

1 Corinthians 13: 7 It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The first step to overcome a set back is simply to grieve it. I cry about it. I tell the Lord about my pain and doubt. I ask Him to confirm my trust and He always comes through.

Following this recent disappointment I received several emails and calls from my Christian friends. Aren’t you amazed God knows exactly when to send a friend into our lives? Then on Sunday the message at church was specific to me. As if it was only for– me.

What I realized is that my self-righteousness was a giant problem in my husband’s eyes. God told me this through the message. My husband did not say a word. Ouch!

The other way I recover from a setback is to find gratefulness.

When I was a girl my mother would sing a chorus of an old hymn to me when I was whiney or complaining.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done. (Words: Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1897)

My Mom didn’t put up with much whining. (Love you, Mom!)

Literally I start naming: He is smart. He has a job and we can pay our bills. He allows me to stay home and gladly supports my ministry efforts. He is faithful. He truly loves me. He gave me a computer. He is kind.

Thankfulness is the balm which sooths the sore spot on my heart and leads me to hope once again.

Our spouses are not throw aways. They may be far way but God wants them anyway. Every setback will be redeemed and we will witness the fruit of our love which always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Be Blessed and.... name them one by one, Lynn