Previous month:
December 2006
Next month:
February 2007

17 entries from January 2007

Emotional Needs Questionaire:

Dr. Harley introduces in his book, His Needs, Her Needs, the needs of men and women. They are similar needs but their priorities are vastly different between the sexes. Dr. Harley stresses that the needs he covers in his book apply to most couples but are not exactly the same for each person. Additionally, the needs above are not listed in a particular order. What needs are most important to you? Do you know what is important to your spouse? More interesting is the why our needs are important. Women Need: Affection, Conversation, Honesty and openness, Financial support, Family commitment. Men Need: Sexual fulfillment, Recreational companionship, An attractive spouse, Domestic support, Admiration. To discover what is truly important to you and your spouse, please login in to the Emotional Needs Questionnaire at Marriage Builders. Print out two. Pray, pray, pray before you suggest to your spouse he or she take... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


My precious Gem…

Today at Laced With Grace, Iris has shared her personal story. Her post is specific to the needs of a man in marriage. We will be covering this topic in future posts here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Check it out! Find me on Fridays! Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Could My Spouse Have An Affair?

Love Bank in Trouble In the previous post we looked at the Love Bank. The author goes on to say…Now that I have sketched out my Love Bank concept, you may be thinking it sounds arbitrary and artificial. Obviously, the Love Bank is not intended to be a mathematically accurate concept. It simply describes the complexity of human relationship and how a marriage can go sour. As committed as many people are to marriage and staying together until “death do us part,” the commitment itself does not guarantee happiness. We all have basic marital needs that our partner meets or fails to meet.—Willard F. Harley, His Needs, Her Needs Mr. Harley goes on to explain when needs are not met the love bank is depleted, and suffering from a serious deficit. The unmet needs of the individual can lead to vulnerability or worse infidelity. With this said, (I abbreviated an... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Make a deposit in your Love Bank

So what is a love bank? Willard F. Harley, Jr. describes it this way: Everyone Has a Love Bank Figuratively speaking, I believe each of us has a Love Bank. It contains many different accounts, one for each person we know. Each person either makes deposits or withdrawals whenever we interact with him or her. Pleasurable interactions cause deposits, and painful interactions cause withdrawals. –His Needs, Her Needs. Therefore, the deposits and withdrawals in an individuals love bank fluctuated continuously. Many people remain in the black while others cause the love bank to become overdrawn or RED. How does the love bank work in marriage? We are going to look at that next. I have a challenge for us. Today make a concious effort to deposit in the love banks of your spouse and kids. Let me know what happens. Be blessed, Lynn Also, you can find me today over... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Thankful Thursday

He Keeps Me Honest! There are times in my life and I begin to think I might be “all that”. My pride surges and I can be quite full of myself. It never fails when I start down the prideful road, God will rise up in front of me to keep me in check. Often God uses my nonbelieving husband to bring me back to reality. I love that quality about him and hate it at the same time. However, I know that my husband sees me as I really am. He will point out times when I become judgmental or self-righteous. He keeps me honest. He asks the hard questions and reveals my hidden pride. I am thankful for this man who keeps me honest. How does your spouse keep you honest? Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Our Needs In Marriage

Marriage is a complex relationship, perhaps the most intricate on the face of the earth. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize what we get into when we say, “I do.” We think the dynamics of a good marriage depends on some mysterious blend of the "right" people. Or if a marriage turns out badly, we call the two people “wrong” for each other. Two inherently incompatible people might marry, but that is unusual. More frequently with marital breakups one or both partners lack the skills or awareness to meet each other’s needs. ---Willard F. Harley, Jr. His Needs, Her Needs This excerpt is from chapter two of Mr. Harley’s book. I would like to explore the basic needs of men and women in a marriage relationship. The paragraph above describes so many of us who entered into marriage with ZERO training. We actually were relying on some mysterious magic to... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


You're Invited!!

I am thrilled and delighted to announce a brand new study group that was created to serve those of us in an unequally yoked marriage. 1Peter3Living will launch our first study in February. We have selected the book, Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee and Leslie Strobel. Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage By Lee & Leslie Strobel Back Cover: Leslie’s decision to become a follower of Jesus brought heated opposition from her skeptical husband. They began to experience conflict over a variety of issues, from finances to child-rearing. But over time, Leslie learned how to survive a spiritual mismatch. Today they’re both Christians-and they want you to know that there is hope if you’re a Christian married to a nonbeliever. In their intensely personal and practical book, the reveal:  Surprising insights into the thinking of non-Christian spouses  A dozen steps toward making the most of... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Laced With Grace

As many of you know, I am a contributor on Fridays, to the Devotional Blog, Laced With Grace. My friend, Iris at Sting my Heart, put the devotional team together. Yesterday this is what Iris wrote and I echo these words: I am thankful for the blog-team God has put together at Laced with Graced. I know that I have said it before, BUT through that group blog, God has shown me that we do not have to ‘belong’ to the same denomination, but that we have a common denominator — Christ! And that is awesome! BTW - I don’t even know which churches my sisters in Christ attend, but I know that they all love God and call Christ their Lord and Savior. And that is the most important part to me…So thank you CJ, Ellen, Heather, Laurel, Lynn, Sissy and Tracey - you are blessing my socks off.... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Thankful Thursday

My dear friend, Iris at Sting My Heart, is hosting Thankful Thursday. Once a week I want to highlight one thing I am thankful for in my Spiritually Mismatched Marriage. I hope you will join me to give thanks to God for our spouses and the unique gifts they bring into our lives. Today I am thankful that spouses can indeed change: On Monday, a surprise delivery arrived from UPS. Inside the medium-sized brown box was a delightful gift. A mini red rose in a charming silver pail. My husband has not surprised me with flowers for no apparent reason since we dated 15 years ago. I am grateful for this unexpected surprise and for the love my husband shared. Tell me about one thing about your spouse in which you are thankful. Be blessed, Lynn Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Thank you Kimberly Jones

....The words that God gave her to give to me began to change my entire life. She told me, “Always talk to God about the man, before you ever talk to the man about God.” This exerpt from Kim's story is wise indeed. Today please take your spouse to the throne of God. Thank God for him/her. Ask God for your spouse's salvation once more. Then listen..... what does the King want to tell you about your spouse? Be blessed, Lynn Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


My Englishman by Guest Writer; Kimberly Jones

I am pleased to introduce a new guest writer here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, Kimberly Jones. Kim is forty years old, happily married for eight years. Kim and her husband have two adopted boys, ages 11 and 7. She works part-time for Christ Lutheran Church in Hagerstown, MD. Her interests are her family, writing, reading, knitting and singing. She is also learning to enjoy cooking! You can find Kimberly at Knitten' Kittens. Part II: Kimberly Jones In all my prayers to my heavenly Father, I never once had specified that my soul mate be a Christian. I had just taken it for granted that he would be. I had come to a devastating crossroads as I struggled with what to do. Chris had already asked me to marry him and I had already accepted. We were even in the process of meeting with a pastor down on the Eastern Shore,... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


My Englishman by Guest Writer; Kimberly Jones

I am pleased to introduce a new guest writer here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, Kimberly Jones. Kim is forty years old, happily married for eight years. Kim and her husband have two adopted boys, ages 11 and 7. She works part-time for Christ Lutheran Church in Hagerstown, MD. Her interests are her family, writing, reading, knitting and singing. She is also learning to enjoy cooking! You can find Kimberly at Knitten' Kittens. Part I: Kimberly Jones When I was asked to write a testimony about marrying someone who was not a believer, I came to the realization that my story began many years ago. My story not only has to do with marrying unequally yoked, but also with God’s direct answer to prayer and how I knew that His answer to my prayer was all part of a much greater plan. My story begins back in 1984 when I was... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


What of Husbands?

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Just as the wives were to accept authority, so the husbands, in the same way, were to be considerate as they lived with their wives. The phrase be considerate as you live with your wives is literally translated “living together according to knowledge.” That a husband should be considerate implies more than just a kind attitude; it goes deeper, implying that his consideration of his wife is based on his knowledge of her needs, desires, gifts, and abilities. A husband who acts on this knowledge of his wife will greatly enrich her life, as well as his own. This is the explicit message of Paul in Ephesians... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Leave Fear Behind

Peter called upon Christian wives to do what is good and to never let fears alarm them. A Christian woman’s faith in God would help her not to be afraid. In this context, it could refer to their not fearing the physical harm that might come to them from their husbands, not fearing the result of submitting to their husbands, or not fearing what might happen if they had to disobey their husbands because their husbands asked them to do wrong or evil acts. It could also refer to the theme of persecution throughout this letter. Leave Fear Behind: Peter counseled family peace, but with a limit. The first priority of a woman married to an unbeliever was always God. Peter knew how tough that faith would be on some women, who at that time had no legal redress against abuse. Peter’s word of hope to women (and to everyone... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Fear

1 Peter 3:5-6 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Why did Peter use Sarah as an example? Because Sarah was considered the mother of God’s people (Isaiah 51:2). Not only was Sarah an example to be followed because of her faithfulness to God and to her husband, but also because she was the mother of all believers under the old covenant, the mother of the Jewish nation; under the new covenant the mother of all who believe (Galatians 4:22-26). Peter commends Sarah for her attitude of submission, hanging his argument on Sarah’s use of “lord.” Sarah’s submission certainly... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Dowdy and Frumpy???

The study of 1 Peter 3:3-4 has brought forward excellent commentary and thoughts regarding a woman’s appearance. A common thread drawn from this teaching is propriety. pro•pri•e•ties Online Dictionary: 1. The quality of being proper; appropriateness. 2. Conformity to prevailing customs and usages. 3. proprieties The usages and customs of polite society. I would like us to consider modesty. This is an old-fashioned word in today’s bare midriff, low-cut tops and thong-revealing jeans world. I propose God would desire to see our physical body clothed in modesty. Further still, I would propose God would greatly desire to see a modest heart. It is tough to teach modesty to our children today. I would appreciate titles of books or other materials that offer parents suggestions to teach modesty to their kids. As we leave this section of scripture and look at verses five and six next, I leave you with this... Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow


Thank You!

Today I am completely humbled and surprised to learn Spiritually Unequal Marriage received the Christian Woman Online, Better Half Award. Thank you!! O Lord my God, It is by your hand and overwhelming love that I can serve in your kingdom. I am no one important to receive acclaim. I turn ALL honor, praise and glory to You. I love you with all that I am. It is my prayer that all praise is given to You, the author of life. In Jesus precious name, Amen. Read more →

*****

Share your voice, heart and love in the comments. 

THRIVE in your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and raise your children to faith. Our books are filled with practical experience and Biblical advice. -click or tap the photo-

Footer w drop shadow